It's A Brand New Day (Year)

So it's 2:34 am on January 1st, 2012. Wow! 2012.

When most people are either out partying the night away or are snug in their beds dreaming of all the possibilities a brand new year comes with I am, or was until 5 minutes ago, lying in between a fevering husband with chills that could give the night cold a run for its money and two kids with a stomach bug. I am trying to sleep but constantly find myself checking on the three of them while also trying to hold down my own nausea and ignore my own  upset stomach.

Anyway, while trying to tire myself out, I start thinking about the girls being in school (a fantasy I often visit) but in this one, I have to pick them up early because they're not feeling well and are throwing up in the classroom. So I go to retrieve them and as we're walking to the car I suddenly realize that I no longer have my driver's license (true fact) and my daydream comes to a sudden halt. Then it switches to me being at the DMV taking my G2 test and the guy testing me is asking why I lost my license. Sigh. So I go into this whole shpiel of failing my G, getting married, getting pregnant, my mom getting cancer, me having twins, my mom dying and then me getting sick while having to care for the babies. It takes the entire duration of the test for me to finish my tale and by the end of it, we're both choked up and sitting in the parking lot trying to compose ourselves. He's talking now, wishing he could take me out for coffee after I tell him that I didn't even care whether I got my license or not, I just needed to get some air, some me time. He then asks me if there's anything he that he could do for me and I say...

 "Pray for me. Whether you're a religious man or not, pray for me, my health and my family and also love. Love more." And he asks me what I mean and I tell him that the world's love deposit is drying up and very few people even realize it. They feel something lacking but they don't know what. God is love. Love is God. We are called to be like Christ and so like love but we are not love. I tell him to love big. Love his loved ones more. Love his friends and acquaintences. Love those he hates or can't stand or those who annoy him to no end. Love strangers. I tell him that I tell my husband (which I haven't but I will) who has terrible road rage that whenever he gets angry at a bad driver and calls them an idiot or a jerk, to intentionally think that maybe that man's wife is dying of cancer and he's so brokenhearted and doesn't know what he's doing anymore and his mind is so distracted that for a moment, he forgot the speed or to put on his lights. Or maybe you're in a restaurant or a cafe and there's one person sitting at a table by herself and obviously not eating or drinking anymore and you're standing there with your food or drink and maybe with your kids waiting to get a seat and your staring at her hoping to pierce her soul with your angry glare and move her to get up. But all the while, she's not moving because she has a serious health condition, say a heart condition, and she wants to move but she just can't. She doesn't have the strength to, she's just so tired and she has no one to call for help so she needs to pace herself and take it slow. Or maybe you see a drug addicted prostitute on the street who reeks of alcohol and you think to yourself, how does one let themselves get to that point or how can I pass by without her noticing me? But you don't know that that person was let go of work for health reasons and was denied government help because her family income was too high but her husband was a cruel man who made her start doing things to make more money and gave her drugs to ease the pain of it all. But when she became addicted, he took her kids and left her. She has nowhere else to go and this poor woman is suffering from serious depression, each day is a battle to not jump off a bridge or overdose on some narcotic. Her life is so upside down and broken. She sees life through shattered glass and no matter what she does, she can't fit the pieces back together again because they're just not all there anymore. She's not all there anymore. And while you're looking at her thinking one of the dozens of things you could be thinking, inside her pocket, she's holding a syringe to her with far too high of a dosage of whatever it is inside of it. She's standing at the mouth of the beast seconds away from giving herself freely when all she needs is just a little more love.

I tell this to the man and  I tell this to all of you. My knowledge of things is very limited. I wish I could call myself a wise old sage, because that sounds so cool, but I'm not. My experiences in life are very limited so when I write, it is because it is something pressing strongly on my heart to be set free. And on this morning, I tell you a small part of my story and I reveal a small portion of my thoughts and I say this, "Love more this year. Love freely. Love unconditionally and love BIG! This world is all dried up of real love, you can see it in our governments, in our media, in the ever unrelenting poverty. People don't know what love is anymore. They think that thinking or obsessing over a person is love. They think that sex is love. Our kids are growing up and learning love from Rhianna, who shows us that love is having someone to hold your hand while your popping pills and getting doped up. That's not love. We have Bruno Mars telling us that it's cool to get married when you're bored and looking for something stupid to do and they can just "fix it all up" in the morning. That's not love. We have hundreds of celebrities marrying and divorcing, dating every person they "feel a connection" with on screen, regardless of whether that person is married or has a family. We have governments making war on other countries, militia raping and killing their own people, adults taking advantage of kids to make a buck or fulfill a dark fantasy. What if any of these things were happening to your child? Or your sister or brother? Would you stand for it? What if one day, you're the one in the car distracted because your baby is in the backseat throwing up and choking and you're panicking while driving like a maniac? Would you not be unintentionally thinking that people should be understanding, caring and gracious... and getting out of your way!?" We don't know what people are going through just as they don't know what we are going through but what if we all started to care a little bit more about that? What do you think would happen?

God called us out of this darkness to be His light. Yes, one person can make a difference. In any given instant, your actions or reactions can start a whole chain of events, whether you are aware of them of not. You being patient with the man who was given the embarrassing task of ordering 24 coffees or not belittling the customer service rep who has taken 30 calls within the last hour and has had countless customers berate him as if their broken thingymajiger was his fault can make a huge difference. You can help someone go home and say, "Well today wasn't so bad afterall". I don't believe in coincidences, you can argue that all you like, but for every event in my life that I can accurately recollect, that event has had some other purpose or involvement in some other situation. And those are only things that I can actively remember or think of. Every momentous event, be it a good event, a bad event or a terribly stupid one, has resurfaced. God doesn't allow us to suffer or experience joy just for the heck of it.

Anyhow, it's 3:39 am and my mind is starting to wander and the computer screen is starting to dance so I'll get to my point if I haven't already made it clear:

In this new year, let's all try to actively love and love out loud.

It's not a new idea or anything but let's try to fulfill it anyway =)

Happy New Year everyone and may this year be filled with blessings, answered prayers and mostly, more of God!

P.S. Yes, I really don't have my license because of the aforementioned chain of events....