I Got A Feeling

Today I feel an overwhelming sense of joy. I don't know what it is about today that makes me feel like this but the feelings are strong and true.


This morning started out pretty much the same as any other: me in the kids' room, having fallen asleep there after Inaya woke up crying before daylight. I was awakened by the delivery of very enthusiastic hugs, which is the norm and the rest of the day was routine as well: feeding, cleaning, changing, tickling and playing/reading on repeat and also cooking, cleaning, washing, folding and sweeping on repeat as well. I was busy, busy and more busy. But for some reason, while the girls were air drying from their bath and I was folding laundry, I felt this sudden rush of calmness and peace. It wasn't like something special happened, everything was actually quite ordinary but I just felt happy. There I was, folding clothes & listening to Eva Cassidy while catching the giggles of my children sitting on the sofa watching television and I felt happy. I felt light.


As a mother, there is nothing like listening to your children laugh and play together or seeing unadulterated happiness in their eyes. There is no greater gift than knowing that my children are happy and I think today just gave me overwhelming joy in being a mother. I think God knew that I was feeling very emotional and heavy and decided to lighten my load. It's not like my burdens have gone away but a burst of love turned to joy is just what I needed to lighten the load. 


There is only one other time in my life when I felt this feeling. It was over 10 years ago when after popping many colourful pills into my mouth, I was lying down in bed with a knife in my hand. I had not just hit rock bottom, I was repeatedly pummelling myself into that rock. I was beyond despair. Although I don't know how I managed to remain coherent, I know that I sent out a desperate prayer to God begging Him for a way out of my despair. I begged Him to either allow the pills to do their intended job or to take my life apart and build up a completely new one for me. I prayed that night until I fell asleep, not knowing whether I would wake up the next morning. Needless to say, the pills didn't work but even more than that, the prayer did! That morning I felt as light as air, literally. It was a strange feeling, like I was weightless and being carried. I felt unburdened and that was the renewing of my faith in God's promise that He would never leave me nor forsake me. And although I grew up in a Christian home, it was then that I knew without a doubt that I was His child and that He loved me enough to send His only Son to die for my sins! For me!  He truly loved me and heard my prayers. He was real and I mattered to Him!


That was the first time that I really felt God's hand on me, today was the second and I'm sure that there will be many more because God really does know what I need and when I need it. I may be counting pennies or rubbing overly used joints and I may continue to do so all the days of my life but He knows exactly what I need to continue moving forward. He knows when my well is drying up and I'm in need of some water and He gives it to me. He lifts me into His mighty arms, feeds me His thirst quenching water and I feel as light as air. Oh what a feeling!

Preserved Flower Paintings

So this blog will be short and sweet, hopefully more sweet than short...

After Holy Hungry Artists (which will be held again sometime before Christmas), I was asked to put up pictures of my paintings online so that others could view them. Unfortunately, I don't have much to show as I don't paint as often as I would like to but here they are:

So this first painting is my most famous. I created it the summer of 2009, and it has the most interesting background story. I call it Fertility because when I had a dream about this painting (which I often have before I can create anything of value) it first came out as a painting of two sperms impregnating two ovums. This is what the painting was at first, but when I made it into reality, it wasn't what I envisioned or it was but I didn't like how it looked. So I took some flowers that my new husband had given, I dried them, affixed them onto the canvas and then repainted it into this. I thought, well if I can't make my vision into reality then I'll make it into a keepsake of the first flowers he gave me after we got married. But the funny thing about this painting is that shortly after I finished it (about a month after), we found out that I was pregnant with fraternal twins! So the vision I had for this piece was like a premonition of my darling girls...and it's a keepsake at the same time!

The next floral piece was created to preserve special flowers once again. The red roses remind me of when I had my open heart surgery last year and of my husband staying by my side every day at the hospital. These were from the bouquet he gave me at the hospital. I didn't really have any meaningful design in mind other than I wanted to petals to look like they were blowing in the wind. I call it Forget Me Not because it reminds me of how close I came to death and how precious and short life. Eventually we all become but a memory, hopefully never to be forgotten. (This painting is sold).

This final floral piece was created once again out of flowers from my hubby. I finished it recently for the art show. I didn't really have any inspiration for this one either, in regards to the design. It is simply called Petals.

I have made two other one that were custom orders. If any one is interested in a custom painting, you can leave me a message here. I can use your own flowers, if so desired or I can choose flowers myself. If there is a story behind the chosen flowers, please let me know that too so that I can take it into account with the design (I also just love hearing/reading stories)! The cost of the painting is determined by the cost of the materials, size of canvas and amount of time spent on it. I can only give a price range at pre-production time.

Hidden Gems

This Sunday my family church is hosting its 2nd  Holy Hungry Artists event in which we celebrate the talents of local hidden artists be it a painter, a photographer, a singer, a crafter or a baker, all are given the spotlight on this special night. There are so many people just in our local city with so much skill and talent that never see the light because they are either not given the opportunity to explore that talent or because they are afraid of either the pains of production or of the finished product itself. I, myself, am afraid of both but this weekend I will be one of the people presenting my creations for the first time to the general public. I am doing so because I am afraid to. I have always been afraid of 'doing things wrong' and looking silly but I am trying this new thing called "believing that I am special and have God-given talents" that were given to be used. 


It seems fitting I think to correlate this with the hidden gems of Christ's kingdom (ahem, us, again). The potential evangelists, the counsellors, the missionaries, the Sunday School teachers, the prayer warriors, the Church leaders who are afraid of that tiny nudge from God towards a certain path that we all too often shy away from. You know, that nudge that gives you that strange feeling in your chest and belly resemblant to the need to eliminate something. Gross I know, but it's a good metaphor because that feeling may perhaps be a need to eliminate your fears and follow God's leading despite what the pains of production may be or what the actual outcome may be. The important thing is that you listened to God and you utilized the gifts that He gave you. 


So explore your hidden gifts, He gave them to you for a reason and gifts are given to be used not to be hidden away in a closet collecting dust (that would be an insult to any gift-giver). And while your at it, come support our artists' hidden or not-so-hidden talents this Sunday at the Older Adult Centre in the basement of Square One Shopping Centre in Mississauga. Items may be sold, donations may be given (we are collecting goods for the Open Door) and missionaries may be assisted!


We all need encouragement and nurturing to cultivate and thrive in our fields!