What's been most pressing/most present in my life right now? My daughter, Inaya. She is the youngest of my twin girls and although she is more advanced in many ways, right now she is proving to be more baby-like than her sister. God bless this child all the days of her life but the Lord knows how this child is testing me.
She seems to be easier to handle when others are around (yes, those that know her may laugh at this) but when it's just me, I am no longer myself, I am her attachment. When I sit, go to the kitchen or bathroom, when I lie down and when I pay attention to her sister, Iselah, you'll be certain to hear a, "no, no, me!" shortly after followed by finger pulling and mommy dragging. It is tiring with a capital T. And what's more frustrating than not having any break? Bouts of hour long crying and screaming and fighting and hitting. I love this child more than she'll ever know but sometimes it is so difficult and frustrating that I just want to walk away. But I can't. I can't because she would be utterly lost and helpless without me. She would not know what to do or not to do for her own sake and benefit. But most of all, I can't just walk away because she is my child and I love her. I created her from my body, she is a likeness of me, a part of me. If I were to turn my back on her it would be like turning my back on a part of my own heart.
So I know I'll never walk away from her no matter what. I will need to teach her that she can't always hold my hand, she'll need to let go sometimes. I'll also need to teach her that when she does let go, she may fall or get hurt or become afraid but through the grace of God, she'll overcome it, and I'll be right there the whole time watching and if she needs, I'll hold her hand.
Isn't this how God feels about us? Isn't this what parenthood is supposed to show us, to give us a tiny clouded glimpse of how God Our Father feels for His children? Don't we cling to Him when we're helpless and needy and don't we kick and scream when things don't go our way? Does He not get hurt and tired and frustrated with our constant stubbornness and sinning? Didn't He give us commandments and commissions to get us through life? And As we grow, isn't He there in the sidelines watching us go through life waiting for us to call on Him? He may let go of our hand sometimes to teach us something but He never walks away from us. He wants us to live and learn and bring glory back to Him.
So I'll take a lesson from my Father and I'll raise my children the best that I can. In this phase of clingyness, I'll learn to trust that God will give me enough patience, love and strength and I'll try to teach Inaya that if she lets go, I'll still be close enough that she need not be afraid.
She seems to be easier to handle when others are around (yes, those that know her may laugh at this) but when it's just me, I am no longer myself, I am her attachment. When I sit, go to the kitchen or bathroom, when I lie down and when I pay attention to her sister, Iselah, you'll be certain to hear a, "no, no, me!" shortly after followed by finger pulling and mommy dragging. It is tiring with a capital T. And what's more frustrating than not having any break? Bouts of hour long crying and screaming and fighting and hitting. I love this child more than she'll ever know but sometimes it is so difficult and frustrating that I just want to walk away. But I can't. I can't because she would be utterly lost and helpless without me. She would not know what to do or not to do for her own sake and benefit. But most of all, I can't just walk away because she is my child and I love her. I created her from my body, she is a likeness of me, a part of me. If I were to turn my back on her it would be like turning my back on a part of my own heart. So I know I'll never walk away from her no matter what. I will need to teach her that she can't always hold my hand, she'll need to let go sometimes. I'll also need to teach her that when she does let go, she may fall or get hurt or become afraid but through the grace of God, she'll overcome it, and I'll be right there the whole time watching and if she needs, I'll hold her hand.
Isn't this how God feels about us? Isn't this what parenthood is supposed to show us, to give us a tiny clouded glimpse of how God Our Father feels for His children? Don't we cling to Him when we're helpless and needy and don't we kick and scream when things don't go our way? Does He not get hurt and tired and frustrated with our constant stubbornness and sinning? Didn't He give us commandments and commissions to get us through life? And As we grow, isn't He there in the sidelines watching us go through life waiting for us to call on Him? He may let go of our hand sometimes to teach us something but He never walks away from us. He wants us to live and learn and bring glory back to Him.
So I'll take a lesson from my Father and I'll raise my children the best that I can. In this phase of clingyness, I'll learn to trust that God will give me enough patience, love and strength and I'll try to teach Inaya that if she lets go, I'll still be close enough that she need not be afraid.
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