second life

So I went in for a pretty standard valve replacement surgery with possible repairs to my aorta, due to some thinning along the
wall. When I came out of surgery, I found that they had replaced my aortic valve as planned but upon investigation of my aorta, the surgeon had found scar tissue. Now that was not standard. What that means is that the reason why my aorta looked dilated or thinned out is because at some point in the last few months, my aortic vessel had ruptured and then healed itself. What that essentially means is that at some point in the last few months, I was alive when I could have been dead.

All of my life I have felt useless and purposeless. Church and Bible Studies always taught us that God had a plan for us. We were here for a reason. I never found that reason or even got close to it. I have no special talents or gifts, I'm not beautiful or wealthy or intelligent. I'm not business savvy nor am I a people person. I have nothing special to put on the table. If anyone ever said otherwise, I would say, "it's a facade, a lie, you were lucky to catch a glimpse of an error in my otherwise unremarkable life." I'm not saying my life is terrible, not by any means. It's just plain.

But when God spares your life without you even knowing it and then He strengthens it and makes it stronger than ever, you would be a blimey fool to deny that you have a divine purpose. Obviously, my time is not up. Obviously, I haven't reached the goal He has set out for me yet. Obviously, He is in control and I am not!

When my rupture healed on it's own, He gave me a second chance and said, "I'm not done with you yet". When He replaced the broken parts of my heart and sealed me back up again, He stamped me and branded me and claimed my second life. My surgeon and his team are Amazing and I am ever grateful to them but this scar on my chest is my proclamation to the world that if God cared enough to give such an unworthy creature as myself a second chance at life, He can do the same for anyone. Broken, ashamed, riddled with sin. He loves you all! Even if you don't believe it, He still loves you and you can't stop Him! So you should just accept it....

I still don't know what "my purpose" is but I know now, without a doubt, that there is one. I wasn't created by mistake or for fun. God knew me before I was born and has my life set out before me. And I will spend this second life living the best that I can, walking in His presence, so that His purpose can come into fruition.